Posts tagged: Television
His last name is Masters and he researched sex?
The Americans is good—the pilot, at least. The bookend scenes both really bow to the altar of “Tusk” which I have always been a firm, staunch supporter of. There is no greater friend to the United States than "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac.
Lastly, 80s-chic style that’s almost 60s-retro if 60s-retro existed in the 80s when they were making out in cars to “In the Air Tonight” (used well, and not ironically). So watch The Americans. It’s going to out Homeland Homeland.
And the Nominees for the “Best Limp on Television” are …
"Shane" The Walking Dead. “Jimmy Darmody” Boardwalk Empire. “Eddard Stark” Game of Thrones. “The guy on Whitney” Whitney.
And the winner is …
It’s back. Whip out your caveman translator for an all new season - a FINAL season - of…
Monosyllabic Entourage recaps — Ep. 1: “Tortoise Angers Fire Gods”
Vin E make em happy speech at rehab. Be sober now, forever. Learn him to be alone with thought. Him call 12 friend pick him up from sad place.
Him wan do bro-hang now him free again. Him bro-brother Dramas wan protect him from evils. Throw Vin E mighty celebration with no poison drink. And no druuuugg.
Ari wife strong mouth breather. Pray to cardio Gods. She no wan be with husband-man Ari. Him work at talent agency aboard spaceship.
Woman-girl Sload, she no wan be with future husband-man Ee. Next scene.
Tortoise the hat wearer, he have bootiful Tequila Tila woman-girl. Him make many rocks selling Mexico water.
Vin E mad at Ee! Him no call Ee when time to pick up him from sad place. Him, Ee bro talk. It okay now.
Woman-girls show up, party bus. Them all run in Vin E room. Watch him on bed. Him drink near beer. Pitch movie for Pax network. It hit! All high-fiving now.
FIRE! ARGHHH! ROAAAAWWWW!!!
Tortoise burn down cave. Fire Gods say them need new cave now. Old cave symbol of past: seasons 4-7.
This weeks cameo: Darlene’s boyfriend from Roseanna.
Next weeks cameo: Andrew Dice Clay as a monkey.
Big Brother Almighty will box cutter you up to heaven
I like to think that Big Brother Almighty got expelled from Mission College once they found out he was using box cutters for frat initiations. After that he used a pair of box cutters on Laurence Fishburne’s character for being so obviously late-80’s.
Then he flew to South Africa and he used a pair of box cutters to end apartheid. Then his pair of box cutters started cooking meth, and they moved to New Mexico and lived happily ever box cutters.
I never realized Thomas Jefferson was such a punk lad. Or at least he is one in HBO’s John Adams. He’s always playing the back— hunched against a wall like he’s Ian Curtis in a room full of Federalists.